The Good, the Bad, and, the Financially Anxious

“Money can’t buy happiness.” The biggest scam ever! An idea formed by the ones who have tasted monetary security with a salty hint of struggles. In my twenty-five years of existence, I have desperately grown to hate the concept of money and the chokehold it has on every individual and system, whether intergalactic or earth-oriented. An absolute nuisance. But a necessary one too!

The moment a child picks up a book, we start drilling the idea of success into their feeble minds. Study hard, get good grades, and the world will become your domain. Exemplary students are always associated with a brighter future. A future with more money, with more facilities, and with more power over their own lives. I, too, fell into this rabbit hole.

As an introvert, books were my ultimate solace and companions, and those around me took it personally. A series of compliments followed by conditions like ‘She does nothing but studies’ and ‘Well-liked by her teachers’ were familiar to my ears. The weight of being my family’s poster child always felt heavy, I felt obligated to become someone extraordinary. I chose the most compelling persona I’ll wear for the rest of my adulthood and pushed my tiny little cart of dreams towards it, A neurosurgeon. Yes, doesn’t that sound just magnificent? I was used to sowing my hard work and reaping the finest results out of it. I was untouched by any aspects of personal growth and emotional development. A perfect little robot of the system. My end goal was to be filthy rich doing what I loved.

However, all this poured fuel couldn’t get me through the high-ranked trials of the MCAT. Middle class people, no money was ever going to be enough for private education. My passion wasn’t worth the price and I had to give up on the idea of becoming professionally envied. The love I had for biology plummeted, such intense failure was unfamiliar to me and my cycle of identity crisis started. And then it was time to face all sides of me that I didn’t even know existed. I did a 180 and took up mass communication for my bachelor’s in 2015. I was way behind my peers who came with hearts charged and minds ready to make something out of themselves.

Fast forward 6 years, and now I’m on my 7th job. With a bundle of corporately useful skills, I am earning more than my dad did back when he was my age. But is it enough? No. Can this figure be saved to create a huge sum of money? Not even close. I earn, it burns, I keep going. I loathed the cycle I was stuck in. My entire generation is depressed and fighting a plethora of feelings our parents didn’t teach us how to. Countless young people are exploited in the name of ‘exposure’ and are expected to be opinionless, bland individuals who never question their superiors and are always brimming with youth.
So here I am, thinking of switching my current job with something much more promising. Drained from the 9-5 routine, traveling 26kms from home and back just to experience the aggressive wage gap, underlying misogyny, and countless other problems. Cramming my tiny feet in big shoes was a start but I must have outgrown them by now right?

Maximize Your Wealth Potential: 8 Rules for Financial Literacy Success

I wanted more, No I needed more than this. Revenge procrastination lined my nights and the pressure of being a good employee painted my day. Staring at the time, wishing for it to be 6 pm, tuning out my negative thoughts with music was my own damned routine. The primary breadwinner of my families like many of my colleagues and friends. I should take a better opportunity, But do I deserve it? I can survive for now, but my family can’t. My master’s degree can wait, but our loans can’t. Every thought is sworded down by another, more painful self-reminder. I do a little list of pros and cons resulting in a humongous accumulation of 34 cons and 2 pros. My realistic streak wins and the loyalty-laced one collapses face down.

The financial anxiety millennials are facing is no joke. Some of us are trying to carry our withering morals in the cut-throat world of corporate advancement. We bend our backs, we bend our rules and we always bend our hearts yearning for something more. The value of a job is judged by how much one will earn. All of my phenomenal friends are adults by the world’s standards but none of us is prepared enough to face what lies ahead. Uneasy with what we are, afraid of what we could have been, and curious about what we could be. 90% of our conversations involve the employment rate, our careers, and personal growth. We decorate our CVs with the prettiest of strengths and hope that our weaknesses don’t break past the façade we’ve created for ourselves, our parents, and the world.

Groceries, bills, loans, and more keep occupying our worrisome brains and leave no room for savings. It’s hard to keep something for the rainy days when the sun rarely graces your world. Amidst it all, if someone is lucky enough to have a glorious hobby of their own, it still comes second to the instinct for survival. If it doesn’t generate revenue, it’s better to keep behind the curtains. In such times, the generations before scrutinize and judge our behaviors and way of living. The suicide rates are high, the kids are emotionally drained, but why? Nobody can exactly figure out the reason behind the current state of many millennials like myself. Cue the ‘when I was your age’ talks and remarks on our manners and opinions. The obsolete ideals that worked 4 decades ago are still being used to judge millennial and GenZ workforces.

The irony linked with all this is our inability to afford therapy as well. How do we survive in a place that prioritizes being alive over living life? This is our first time too, with no guidebooks, no golden rules, yet we are expected to navigate our way into eternal happiness. Sounds unfair and outdated. There are many similar unheard stories like mine out there looking for words to lead them to light. All I wish for is a more progressive and inclusive system that helps me stay true to myself, what does your millennial soul wish for?