From Humor to Harm: How Jokes Perpetuate Gender Norms?

Humor plays a pivotal role in exhibiting a society’s values, norms, stereotypes, and issues. It can reinforce these elements while minimizing or normalizing problems in its underlying message. A joke that might seem harmless can jeopardize the harmony of society, particularly when it downplays marginalized groups and desensitizes people to real issues like sexism, racism, or inequality. Jokes that women are infallibly beleaguered by, such as “a woman’s place is in the kitchen,” define limitations that have been put on women for centuries and are not harmless or just a way to collect laughter. While there is an ongoing conflict between religious and secular groups over issues relating to women that are nowhere near being resolved, it is dismaying to see women being mocked for their hard-fought rights.

Social media memes and reels: educating for progress or indoctrinating towards orthodoxy

Casually scrolling through social media, you might come across a reel where a man walks up to a group of women, apparently in a park, and asks, “Are you women lost?” The women unanimously respond, “No,” and the man retorts, “Why are you outside the kitchen then?” the reel ends and this is just one example of the many reels, memes, or stand-up comedy videos that circulate on social media targeting women. For over a century, women have fought for their rights, with each new wave of feminism battling the same patriarchal society. Yet, even today, they are still confronted with stereotypical jokes that mock one of their most basic rights—the right to work outside the home.

The term “sigma male” is another viral phenomenon on social media, promoting toxic masculinity that shuns empathy or chivalry toward women. While social media can be a tool for spreading awareness, it is also a place where derogatory jokes and comments about women and feminists perpetuate harmful stereotypes, reinforcing or trivializing women’s struggles and suffering. A nerve-wracking yet normalized comment that reappears under social media content created by young girls is bachi ha, bari b to ho gi (“She’s a girl; she’ll grow up too”).

Instead of unmasking or reporting such commentators, viewers often like these remarks. In a country like Pakistan, ranked sixth globally in child marriages, it is alarming that such comments remain untrammeled. Feminism advocates for protecting women and children and addresses far more complex issues than just the right to work or drive a car. However, its relevance is often denied. Girls may present themselves as antifeminist to appear unique or gain male validation, while men who support women are often ridiculed for betraying the “bro code.”

When women speak of the “struggle,” it is often mocked with, ‘There was never any need for it.’ Some argue that women were provided with everything at home, children were better nurtured under a mother’s care, and society had one less issue to deal with: women fighting for equality. While it is up to individual households to decide whether they prefer a double income or one partner staying home to focus on the nourishment and upbringing of children, this choice should not be held against feminism. Feminism has played a critical role in ensuring that women have the option to pursue professional careers or stay at home, making both paths a valid choice. It is feminism that has made it possible for women to have autonomy in these decisions, without being confined to traditional roles or expectations.

Inglorious and unpaid labor

Where women are not treated equally in workplaces, it is even more backbreaking for those doing labor at home and enduring the deprecatory remarks. Women perform 75% of the world’s unpaid labor, which includes house chores, caregiving to children and the elderly, crop growing, gardening, house maintenance, and community involvement, which otherwise would cost a significant sum if paid house help were acquired. ( The bmj: women’s wellbeing and burden of unpaid work.) The unpaid labor is valued at PKR 410.9 billion, contributing nearly 10.4% to the nation’s GDP and these contributions of women also go unappreciated and unrecognized in the formal economic statistics. (Society for Alternative Media and Research and HealthBridge: 2008)

In Pakistan, men on social media often speak without fear of accountability. While freedom of speech exists, hate speech should be severely objurgated. There must be stronger community guidelines and awareness programs on how humor shapes the subconscious mind. Pakistan is a country ranked 142 out of 146 countries in the Global Gender Gap Report (GGGR) 2023 and 161 out of 192 in the Human Development Index (HDI) for the 2021-2022 period, reflecting the nation’s image that marginalized groups are surviving in (Annual report on the status of women in Pakistan).

Domestic violence in Pakistan is pervasive, with 52,370 reported cases of violence against women in 2021 and 40% of reported spousal abuse. Given these staggering statistics, even something that seems as harmless as humor should be examined carefully to ensure it does not contribute to harmful stereotypes and cultural norms. It is of utmost importance to not raise the next generations with the same mindset as many boomers or millennials and to raise a nation that recognizes both genders as equal and works together for a glorious future.

Are we becoming ‘too sensitive’ or more aware of the knock-on effect of humor?

The fight for basic rights such as education, bodily autonomy, property ownership, and protection against assault and domestic violence is ongoing. Common workplace jokes, sarcasm, and commentary about women in male-dominated fields—like tech, engineering, and politics—reinforce the idea that women don’t belong in these spaces, regardless of their competence and hard work.

A small number of individuals who take offense to such derogatory comments, whether in the workplace, at home, or on social media, are labeled as “too sensitive” or told, “It’s just a joke. Don’t be overdramatic; laugh it off.” But are we really “too sensitive,” or are we more aware now that humor, which seems harmless, is one of the factors that reinforce cultural norms and expectations? Historically, humor and literature have played crucial roles in advancing the feminist movement. Writers like Virginia Woolf, Mary Wollstonecraft, and Simone de Beauvoir, through this medium, highlighted and challenged the patriarchal norms; satirical works by Jane Austen shed light on societal absurdities, class, and social prejudices. Humor and literature are tools that are crucial as they stir conversation, allow critical thinking, and inspire change.

Similarly, contemporary examples of using humor to highlight marginalized groups and speak out against social and racial injustices are comedians like Hasan Minhaj and Hannah Gadsby. They use their platforms to expose societal flaws and encourage audiences to think critically about contemporary issues.

Humor is not just about collecting laughs

These jokes defining gender roles are far from being harmless and diminish the historical fight for women’s rights and equality. Dismissing the concerns of those who find these jokes harmful, as being called out as ‘too sensitive,’ undermines the roles of language, literature, and humor in shaping societal and cultural values and expectations. The masses should be aware of the role and core values of feminism, which advocates for justice, equality, and the right to choose.